Tuesday, September 12, 2017

The Big Double Nickel


Turning 55 shouldn't be so difficult, right?  I mean, you made it past 50, what're five years?
Yeah, right, don't let that little lie inside of your head tell you five years isn't anything.  Five years ago I was in the best shape of my life, ever. I worked out,  I had the shape, I had the curves, I had all the right things in all the right places, oh, but wait...somewhere I got lost a long the way with facial hair and ugly feet.  A nose that won't stop growing in proportion to my face and adult skin problems that come from "the change".  Hot flashes that make hot humid days in Florida feel like a fresh breeze and praying for snow for the winter.  Mood swings that swing more than a political debate on the news.  Some days I want to stuff my face with nothing but chocolate and sweet stuff...like the really super sweet stuff! People, we're talking about chocolate covered donuts here, or pastries, lots of them!   Other days I don't care for anything more than a slice of bread and cheese, with a little mustard on it.  Today, my words may be inspiring and loving, and tomorrow, demon Janet comes out and whoa!! Where did that word come from?  One more wrinkle, one more crease, can't get the makeup to make me look like the model in the photo I used as a guide.  My hair, dear God, my hair.  I blame my father for the thick hair curse.  The gray, the Clairol.  It's all incidental.  Life happens, change happens, we grow old.  Embrace the hell out of it.  There is no grace to growing older.  It's a mess...one hot confused mess.  But it's OKAY!
I'd rather be okay with reality than to try to convince myself of lies.  I will never be 30 again. Why should I waste my time trying to look like it?  The only 'gym' I'm interested in is the one that I'm married to.  I would rather spend my time with him than in a gym trying to force my body to be something that God did not design.  Honestly.  If God had wanted women to have ripped abs and spend hours working out, He would have had the women building pyramids, not the men.  No offense to my friends out there that do these things.  But hey, I do my CrossFit, every day at work... I walk an average of 6 miles a day.  I use refrigerator 12 packs of soda and 25 packs of water as my weights.  I push a monster cart loaded with these items... all at a constant nonstop pace for an 8, sometimes 9, occasionally 10, hour shift.  I think it's safe to say I get my exercise and stay in shape.  I eat well, for the most part.  I don't do diet fads, I've just always been a wise eater. It's okay to indulge once in awhile! ".

I'm just thankful I'm having another birthday.  And birthdays, they don't really mean all that much to me anymore anyway.  I share my birthday with my oldest daughter, so for years, it was more about her birthday than mine.  Usually, my birthday was interrupted by making sure I had enough drinking water and supplies while buckling down for the latest annual hurricane threatening the Gulf Coast.
My mother, God love her,  thinks of me on my birthday. Because she did give birth to me, I would be greatly disappointed and suffer from serious depression if even my own mother forgot me on my birthday.

All in all, I'm okay with it.  What little self-esteem I had I lost years ago,  and for the most part, I don't care what people think of me.  I take care of myself, I'm not lazy about my appearance, (okay, well sometimes I am), I eat right.  Even the doctors are amazed at how healthy I am.  If today's standard for life expectancy is true, I am now more than half the way thru mine! That's a miracle, especially considering some of the places/positions I have been in my life! I've been through more in the 55 years of my life than the average person ever goes through in their entire lifetime!  I want to enjoy what time I have left.  I don't want to waste that worrying about trying to look like I'm a young woman anymore. I don't want to keep up with the Jones either.  From what I understand they have long toes and hairy armpits.  My spare time is extremely limited...and honestly, I'm exhausted after I get off from work.  Those hours I might have spent in a gym somewhere, I could use to spend doing something a little more meaningful, like taking a nap.  Honestly, when I face God I am pretty sure He's not going to say, "Nice abs Janet, great job on keeping strong and fit".  You can take care of your body without going overboard!  Eating healthy, quality of life, that goes a LONG way!

Yes, I get frustrated with my looks.  Yes, my hair is an untamed animal that needs training.  Yes, I have a little jiggle in my belly and around my thighs.  Yes, I have more facial hair than a lumber jack....wait, maybe not.  Yes, I have ugly feet.  Yes, I fart and make strange noises.  Yes, I eat bread because I freakin' love bread!  But hey, I'm a pretty decent person at heart, and I am genuinely me.  I've lived some hard lessons and survived a lot.  I think I'm pretty special.  And ultimately, it doesn't matter what the world thinks about me.  I'm only interested in what God thinks about me, and it's a darn good thing He has a great sense of humor.  I think the world should too. Embrace it, ladies, it's the only life you get.


Sunday, September 3, 2017

Al Green : I Can't Get Next To You (Live in 72)

I can't even describe the smile this puts on my face.  Weezy taking business classes and working full time.  I'm busy hustling bologna.  Kick back my friends and listen to Al master the live performance!!! I swear he would kick the snot out of any one performing today.  Except maybe Amos Lee.  But everyone else...snotless.