Tuesday, September 12, 2017

The Big Double Nickel



   

Turning 55 shouldn't be so difficult, right?  I mean, you made it past 50, what're five years?
Yeah, right, don't let that little lie inside of your head tell you five years isn't anything.  Five years ago I was in the best shape of my life, ever. I worked out,  I had the shape, I had the curves, I had all the right things in all the right places, oh, but wait...somewhere I got lost a long the way with facial hair and ugly feet.  A nose that won't stop growing in proportion to my face and adult skin problems that come from "the change".  Hot flashes that make hot humid days in Florida feel like a fresh breeze and praying for snow for the winter.  Mood swings that swing more than a political debate on the news.  Some days I want to stuff my face with nothing but chocolate and sweet stuff...like the really super sweet stuff! People, we're talking about chocolate covered donuts here, or pastries, lots of them!   Other days I don't care for anything more than a slice of bread and cheese, with a little mustard on it.  Today, my words may be inspiring and loving, and tomorrow, demon Janet comes out and whoa!! Where did that word come from?  One more wrinkle, one more crease, can't get the makeup to make me look like the model in the photo I used as a guide.  My hair, dear God, my hair.  I blame my father for the thick hair curse.  The gray, the Clairol.  It's all incidental.  Life happens, change happens, we grow old.  Embrace the hell out of it.  There is no grace to growing older.  It's a mess...one hot confused mess.  But it's OKAY!
I'd rather be okay with reality than to try to convince myself of lies.  I will never be 30 again. Why should I waste my time trying to look like it?  The only 'gym' I'm interested in is the one that I'm married to.  I would rather spend my time with him than in a gym trying to force my body to be something that God did not design.  Honestly.  If God had wanted women to have ripped abs and spend hours working out, He would have had the women building pyramids, not the men.  No offense to my friends out there that do these things.  But hey, I do my CrossFit, every day at work... I walk an average of 6 miles a day.  I use refrigerator 12 packs of soda and 25 packs of water as my weights.  I push a monster cart loaded with these items... all at a constant nonstop pace for an 8, sometimes 9, occasionally 10, hour shift.  I think it's safe to say I get my exercise and stay in shape.  I eat well, for the most part.  I don't do diet fads, I've just always been a wise eater. It's okay to indulge once in awhile! ".

I'm just thankful I'm having another birthday.  And birthdays, they don't really mean all that much to me anymore anyway.  I share my birthday with my oldest daughter, so for years, it was more about her birthday than mine.  Usually, my birthday was interrupted by making sure I had enough drinking water and supplies while buckling down for the latest annual hurricane threatening the Gulf Coast.
My mother, God love her,  thinks of me on my birthday. Because she did give birth to me, I would be greatly disappointed and suffer from serious depression if even my own mother forgot me on my birthday.

All in all, I'm okay with it.  What little self-esteem I had I lost years ago,  and for the most part, I don't care what people think of me.  I take care of myself, I'm not lazy about my appearance, (okay, well sometimes I am), I eat right.  Even the doctors are amazed at how healthy I am.  If today's standard for life expectancy is true, I am now more than half the way thru mine! That's a miracle, especially considering some of the places/positions I have been in my life! I've been through more in the 55 years of my life than the average person ever goes through in their entire lifetime!  I want to enjoy what time I have left.  I don't want to waste that worrying about trying to look like I'm a young woman anymore. I don't want to keep up with the Jones either.  From what I understand they have long toes and hairy armpits.  My spare time is extremely limited...and honestly, I'm exhausted after I get off from work.  Those hours I might have spent in a gym somewhere, I could use to spend doing something a little more meaningful, like taking a nap.  Honestly, when I face God I am pretty sure He's not going to say, "Nice abs Janet, great job on keeping strong and fit".  You can take care of your body without going overboard!  Eating healthy, quality of life, that goes a LONG way!

Yes, I get frustrated with my looks.  Yes, my hair is an untamed animal that needs training.  Yes, I have a little jiggle in my belly and around my thighs.  Yes, I have more facial hair than a lumber jack....wait, maybe not.  Yes, I have ugly feet.  Yes, I fart and make strange noises.  Yes, I eat bread because I freakin' love bread!  But hey, I'm a pretty decent person at heart, and I am genuinely me.  I've lived some hard lessons and survived a lot.  I think I'm pretty special.  And ultimately, it doesn't matter what the world thinks about me.  I'm only interested in what God thinks about me, and it's a darn good thing He has a great sense of humor.  I think the world should too. Embrace it, ladies, it's the only life you get.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Sunday, September 3, 2017

Al Green : I Can't Get Next To You (Live in 72)



I can't even describe the smile this puts on my face.  Weezy taking business classes and working full time.  I'm busy hustling bologna.  Kick back my friends and listen to Al master the live performance!!! I swear he would kick the snot out of any one performing today.  Except maybe Amos Lee.  But everyone else...snotless.

Monday, July 24, 2017

Beck - Beercan 1994 Joy!!!


I was at the peek of my DJ career when I'd open my show with this song.  I would play everything from Otis Redding to Nirvana!!  Good times.  I will be posting some of my favorites from time to time so please feel free to enjoy and tell the world what you were up to when you jammed to what ever tune we post on here.

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Cast Your Mind

It's funny.  I see couples all the time.  Most couples that I see are shopping.  These couples that I see are typically happy.  I'm handing the couples bologna and what not.  I even ask them what there favorite music group in high school was.  When I see couples at a rest area they normally look tired and grumpy.  When I see couples in restaurants I see them with their faces in their God forsaken phones.  A lot of couples don't get along because they don't spend real time with each other.

Why didn't you like my post on Facebook?  Why didn't you retweet my joke?  Why are you looking at all these other people?  Why? Why? Why?  Road trips?  I love them.  The Weeze loves them too. Does she snap chat the whole time?  Yeah, pretty much.  But she includes me for the most part.  She also will post from time to time to the FB account.  I will say that in the last couple of years she has converted to mostly snap chatting as I have tweeting.  Myspace was the shit though wasn't it?  FB is drama.  Drama and lies LOL.

Anyway, road trips are a good way to stretch out and see things.  I don't like eating in "chain" restaurants and Weezy doesn't like riding on interstates.  She uses the force every time a big old truck comes merging in.  It really is funny.  One hand is force choking the diesel driver while the right leg is pumping out a bass drum solo!  Watch out Alex VanHalen Kenobi!

We also get great photography.  Cast your mind.  We are driving down a back road in Virginia and I
Pennsylvania great for Trex spotting
get told to stop every 18 miles so that she can stop and smell the flowers, take pictures of the flowers and roll around in the flowers.  Ok, she doesn't smell them.  This is the cool part.  If you have time to spend together then you should spend it together.  Stop and look at bridges and mountains and what not.  Sure, it's fun to poke fun at someones country ass.  But it is also refreshing seeing the world through actual eyes and not some one else's news feed.  I have to say that is my favorite thing to do.  Well, that...and watching Vikings on Hulu.


I would like everyone to take time and have some fun this summer.  Drive to Philly to eat a sandwich and hug Rocky's leg.  Take a trip to Harpers Ferry.  See a river or an ocean.  Be kind and loving and make good choices.
Feeling good now!!
My Mom the Weenie
20 minute road trip :)
1000 mile road trip :)
No Banjo's just Beauty


Probably wouldn't see this on I95

Thursday, June 29, 2017

Big Time Baby O

Weezy and I had an evening to kill.  So, we set out in the smurf to adventure around P.G. county.  Every time we drive by one I always say "I used to love that place!"  and Weezy always shoots it down.  What is "that" place?  Well, it's Bob Evans of course.


Not this time.  This time she gives a sigh and a "finnnnnne!".  We stroll into the Bob Evans and it's a little diner type place.  A hybrid of PoFolks and IHOP.  So, one of us is smiling while one is not enthused.  Poor lil Weezers.

The service was fantastic and the food was sort of edible.  I didn't buy a Bob Evans hat but I'll live around that.  The fact is it was nice of the wife to compromise and try something she knew was going to be bad.  We didn't get food poisoning and for that I'm grateful.  Matter of fact Weezy didn't even eat an entree.  She ate 3 sides.  Ja ja ja.  I did have the pot roast sandwich (hold the bread).  So good.  The best pot roast sandwich I have ever eaten.

Onward to the Bowie Baysox.  They are located right across the street from the Bob Evans by Golly!  Time to go watch the baby O's play the baby Pirates.  The dreaded Altoona Curve are the double A affiliate of the Pittsburgh Pirates.

I'm 23 and Filthy!
The big time baby O that we got to see was Tennessee fire baller David Hess.  This kid comes out throwing a hefty 95.  He hits corners and gets batters to chase out of the zone.  The best part is when he throws his change up.  I swear to you the ball starts off 100 miles per hour.  The ball then literally splits in half and freaking disintegrates at the batters ankles while he is flipping over to try to swat at it.   Radar gun read out "71".  He is going to cause a back injury!  You could hear the Curve players groan trying to stop their swing.  Splits in half and disintegrates.

Bob Evans started kicking in and Mr. Hess has not given up any runs but Bob Evans is about to.  So, we do the right thing and go home.  In doing so we lived through the Bob Evans dinner but missed out on big time saves Oriole.  Zac Britton just happened to come into pitch right after we left.  He is doing a rehab stint on his way back to the "all grown up O's".

As for the first time ever trying a pot roast sandwich...Thanks Bob Evans. Thanks.

Monday, June 19, 2017

Go That Way

15 months and we dumped her.  Just like that.  15 damn months.  That's it.  We are gone!  Kas and Weezy have left the charmed city for quieter times in a south western suburb.  I remember arriving for the huge avalanche that would fall from the heavens.  Weezy and I got caught with our furniture in tow and our car buried in a record setting snow.

It was just God and Men.  A Kas and a Weezy.  When the thaw happened we welcomed curiosity and adventures to ensue.  We literally walked the city from Fells to Fed and all the way to Mt. Verno!
I got to commute to Bowie and Janet hoofed it up and down from OPACY to Bmore and Paca.  She slung sandwiches and hung out with Orioles while I hustle bologna and Havarti down in P.G. county.  All was apparently on a downward spiral surrounding us.
Hundreds of shootings within a mile or two.  Literally...hundreds...of...shootings.  318 actual homicides!!  That is only because the shooters are not even accurate.  There were nearly twice as many people shot.  Only half died.  93 percent were black on black!  It get's to a point when you are living in a sick meme.
AHHHH The hobo's are coming!!!
I wanted to live in the city I've romanticized over the last couple of decades.  I talked Weezy into driving from the Gulf of Mexico to adventure Baltimore living.  She like 480,000 others were not impressed.  The population is down to 600,000 since I left in 1990!
Even with all the great photography she started with, the luster started leaving like residents have over the last 10 years.  I don't know what is scarier?  Losing 6,000 a year to relocation or losing 300 and change to an illegal gun shot in an insane gang related matter?  What?  Someone didn't ponie up enough coin to buy the weak ass heroin?  Turf war over who can achieve the most leaner population?  These young men and women are exterminating each other and Mayor Puke solves the issue by cutting police funds and jamming the pennies into bureaucrat pockets and un populated schools.  Baltimore is a train wreck.
If you live in Baltimore...Go that way...really fast...If something gets in your way...TURN.  Give the one finger salute on your way out of any exit to the men and women toting their card board signs.  Flip them all off.  They have
A nice place to visit, but...
more money than you anyway.  Russell Street, Keith Ave, Saratoga, President, Green, Pratt, Howard, Camden, Freaking any way in or out the pan handlers are out there.  They are ready to eat your face and drag you to a near by underpass to feed their scary ass hobo families.  Run people!!!! Run!!!  Don't stop until you are in Howard or Anne Arundel county!  That is all.